I’m basically a pretty happy person, but my husband is not. I’ve read some about the value of laughter in staying healthy, but notice that he has a hard time experiencing joy at all as he ages. If anything, I think that he’s getting grouchier. Is there anything I can do to help him and as well make him a little easier to live with?
A: You’ve already partially answered your question when you described yours and your husband’s attitudes. People with a more naturally upbeat outlook on life tend to be more spontaneously happy and less likely to grumble about life’s difficulties, even those that are more serious. This can become more apparent with age.
There are patients I care for in their 90s who laugh easily and find joy in simple pleasures despite having experienced significant loss and suffering. There are others for whom the glass has always been half empty and as a result, they failed to appreciate the moments of happiness sprinkled throughout their lives.
The cause for some may be depression that has been lifelong and more accentuated through the infirmities of aging. This needs to be identified and treated appropriately. I’m convinced that for others, unhappiness is a conscious choice that insulates them from experiencing pleasure and insures a kind of dour predictability to their existence.
I recall the story of the author Norman Cousins who, when faced with cancer, indulged heavily in sources of humor in addition to traditional therapies in winning his battle. As a physician, I encounter much sorrow through the lives of my patients and know that I cannot immerse myself continually without respite. I’m always on the lookout for jokes that are humorous, a little corny, but clean. I try to keep a few on hand as well to tell to my patients when appropriate.
Here’s one I heard from a friend: A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, I think I’m shrinking!” The physician responds, “It's okay, you'll just have to be a little patient.”
